hello me

Can I start over
like a child again?
you make me feel as if I could.

at night as you hold me tight,
it's hard for
my mind to register,
"hey I'm not alone."


but I close my eyes tight
and there is no anxiety,
no expectations do I possess,
doubts, I have none,
just peacefulness.

there is no need to be
"pretend me"
outsiders so often see,

the best part is
me isn't just a memory,
she has been found
and it's so refreshing
just to wake up each day
knowing there is someone to care.

making me only wanting to give
and ask for nothing in return.

what is this?

I didn't need you
for a change to occur
within me,
but did I tell you it helped?

I wasn't looking for anyone,
until you were found.


To touch your skin
I find a peace,
chaos escapes to
uncharted shores

confidence builds
slowly I can open up,
I want to trust,
I want to care.


a mind could heal
loneliness, a friend for years
puts on his hat
and waves goodbye.

This feeling, I'm so not used too
What is it? happiness?
no mater, just continue


to stay up late with me
delay the real world,
for a few hours.

just hold me
touch me, kiss me
surround me with your laughter,
tell me your stories and
let me be me.

reminders

I can't concentrate today
looking in the mirror
I see your love bites on my skin
closing my eyes I smell your scent;

subtle reminders of just hours before
when our bodies were intertwined
with passionate laughter
and suffocating kisses.

there's a chance the new will disappear
or maybe not

who knows, but until then as you say
"I can't wait to get butt naked
in the back room with you."

red balloon

as i sat beneath the circus tent
my eyes distant from the clowns, elephants and you.
all attention focussed on a single red balloon which had
just escaped the sticky grasp of a child.

effortlessly it drifted
just missing a teased up-do of high society
in a moment's time
it rose above the crushed popcorn, sawdust and chatter
music, applause and barking dogs on hind legs.

closing my eyes
i saw myself
slowly disappearing
never to see you grind your teeth,
stub out your cigarette
or make that disapproving face.

i'm almost free, i'm almost free

startling cries of a child
reaching for the red balloon.
threw me back beside you
and your mouth stuffed full
of blue cotton candy.

afternoon lust, maybe?

At first sight
I wanted you today
right then, right there
I had no care as to who was there;

When you say "sweetie, maybe, make room for me"
like a school girl
my knees go weak.

your talk of possessions, muscles
may impress others
but I can do without.

It's only animal attraction
which overwhelms me
in your presence
I'm not sick,
but feverish I feel.

I couldn't say
what color shirt
you wore,
nor the design of
tatoo on your arm;

only could I see
were piercing eyes
looking back,
a slight devilish grin
upon your mouth
projecting dangerous
thoughts of how it could be,
and how it will be.

I wonder if
you'll talk dirty
or say "sweetie?"
long wet kisses or
just give me a spanking.

to touch you I need and want
your skin I want to taste
overpower me with the force of your body
place a strong grip upon my arms.

it's the lust
of no strings
the only way to be
quit talking
now let's begin.

afternoon thoughts

I had a thought the other day
as I was sitting down on the porch
for some reason suddenly
I was back at that flat
Lovestreet playing on the radio
a Marlboro light placed upon my lips


the sun shone so bright
I rubbed my eyes
to see you there
laid back on a chair
sipping on your beer

speaking about your gig
this and that
and that and this.

I never thought about
what you said then

the dull tone of the silver windchimes
you bought me
that summer at the market
for a moment interupted Jim.


On your way to the ice chest
you came over and kissed me
telling me
"love you, babe,"
those silly words
got my attention
for almost three years.

today as I closed my eyes
I could smell the stale beer
and taste on your mouth
I took my hand and slapped my face
"stupid, stupid girl."

a moment to linger

I wasn't really asleep
but kept my eyes tightly shut,
playing rebel to the lingering moment
as you sat up
to pull on your jeans.

to feel you once more
is all I needed,
all I wanted,
but it was time.

we knew yesterday
this would be
the last
you would feel my skin
the touch of my lips
or hear our rapid heartbeats in unison.

when the door shut
behind your footsteps

the morning light
pierced my eyes
not letting me
shed a single tear.

Fall fads

i thought about him a lot today
dark hair and eyes of blue
one who captured my attention
a few weeks last september

i was memorized by
the sound of his voice
one touch would
send a shock of fire
for a phone to ring,
a heart
to skip a beat

but the stale dreary days of late fall
I could not escape;

excitement flew out the door
with the last goose to head south.

by the early morning snow
interest became lost on blue;
green now was
the new fascination.

on the brink of what exactly?

I think I'm going mad;
little things to notice

no concentration,
nervous spasms
one brain scrambled
as an addict.

a mind floats away
looking down at me
and laughs out loud
I think I'm going mad;

feelings, don't exist,
no joys, no sorrows
there is no appetite
only aches and more aches;

looking in the mirror
i see nothing
but a wrinkle between my brow
I touch to feel the pain behind brown eyes
I think I'm going mad.