a moment to linger

I wasn't really asleep
but kept my eyes tightly shut,
playing rebel to the lingering moment
as you sat up
to pull on your jeans.

to feel you once more
is all I needed,
all I wanted,
but it was time.

we knew yesterday
this would be
the last
you would feel my skin
the touch of my lips
or hear our rapid heartbeats in unison.

when the door shut
behind your footsteps

the morning light
pierced my eyes
not letting me
shed a single tear.

Fall fads

i thought about him a lot today
dark hair and eyes of blue
one who captured my attention
a few weeks last september

i was memorized by
the sound of his voice
one touch would
send a shock of fire
for a phone to ring,
a heart
to skip a beat

but the stale dreary days of late fall
I could not escape;

excitement flew out the door
with the last goose to head south.

by the early morning snow
interest became lost on blue;
green now was
the new fascination.

on the brink of what exactly?

I think I'm going mad;
little things to notice

no concentration,
nervous spasms
one brain scrambled
as an addict.

a mind floats away
looking down at me
and laughs out loud
I think I'm going mad;

feelings, don't exist,
no joys, no sorrows
there is no appetite
only aches and more aches;

looking in the mirror
i see nothing
but a wrinkle between my brow
I touch to feel the pain behind brown eyes
I think I'm going mad.

to listen

to see you then
lying on the bed
one toe playing with a golden sash
anyone would have known

your eyes averted and cold
told a familiar story
my fingertip traced your lips
coaxing you to speak

silence worked its magic
giving no time to listen

it was over long before
comprehension did not exist;

one heart it took to break
one mind traveling away

my goodbyes
came too late;

you were already
out the door.

a jump on spring

I am awake
I am alive
set upon a distant echo;

outside my window
birds lit from branch to branch
a squirrel hastens up a trunk
wind gently brushes budding leaves
the approaching spring
all is renewed

babies cry
people play
oh the places they go
breathe in the air
life

like a catalyst
I begin
maybe again
senses fulfilled
constant motion
pain dulls to mute

just succumb

it surrounds me now

a heavy dark veil
suffocating,
strangling,
weighing down
every ounce of life

screams,
purging
voices
aches

the sun cuts through
the late winter chill
heat stinks my cheek

razors to flesh
pills spill upon a floor
I don't want this anymore

one goldfish
floats to the top
stiffening to early decay
it's escaped

can I?

Just an Affair

Two adults
it began with;

flirtatious calls
emails late at night
cyber sex?

I feel it- don't you?
I want you,
I need you
But just once, nothing more;
and no holding afterwards,
I hate clingy.

By the way,
make sure you lock the door
when you turn to leave.