to listen

to see you then
lying on the bed
one toe playing with a golden sash
anyone would have known

your eyes averted and cold
told a familiar story
my fingertip traced your lips
coaxing you to speak

silence worked its magic
giving no time to listen

it was over long before
comprehension did not exist;

one heart it took to break
one mind traveling away

my goodbyes
came too late;

you were already
out the door.

a jump on spring

I am awake
I am alive
set upon a distant echo;

outside my window
birds lit from branch to branch
a squirrel hastens up a trunk
wind gently brushes budding leaves
the approaching spring
all is renewed

babies cry
people play
oh the places they go
breathe in the air
life

like a catalyst
I begin
maybe again
senses fulfilled
constant motion
pain dulls to mute

just succumb

it surrounds me now

a heavy dark veil
suffocating,
strangling,
weighing down
every ounce of life

screams,
purging
voices
aches

the sun cuts through
the late winter chill
heat stinks my cheek

razors to flesh
pills spill upon a floor
I don't want this anymore

one goldfish
floats to the top
stiffening to early decay
it's escaped

can I?

Just an Affair

Two adults
it began with;

flirtatious calls
emails late at night
cyber sex?

I feel it- don't you?
I want you,
I need you
But just once, nothing more;
and no holding afterwards,
I hate clingy.

By the way,
make sure you lock the door
when you turn to leave.

A Week of Persistant Men

On Tuesday there's Trent;
young, but old enough
innocent letters, calls and lunch dates.

Not once can he speak direct.
I smile at the sight of his cheeks
turning a delicate shade of pink.

On Thursday there's Brian
Big, boisterous
exuberant, self confidence
I respect.

His art, a carefully spun web of lies
as he paints poetry upon my lips;
He's safe, he's secure.

Easily I could get lost
within his warm embrace,
but, alas we need our space.

Ken visits on Friday
Tight, muscles, perhaps a brain.
His hype I immediately saw through,
unlike others.

He has no qualms about what he wants
His requests voiced with
thunderous applause
and physicality.

he stirs excitement
from deep within,
while a red light cautions.


My requests?
To live the moment.
Commitments? I do not need;
Fun? oh yes.
When do we start?

feb. 13 thoughts

There's a smile on my face,
a feeling of unexpected excitement
rushing through my being
I want to shout it to the world

but kept as a secret
I find it more fun;

interestingly enough,
the past it does not concern
and that makes me smile even more

requests

cover my mouth,
so I won't speak those words to you;

cover my eyes
so I can't see your tears;

make me deaf
so I won't hear your pleads;

hold me so tight
'til I lose my breath

erase my mind
make me forget
make me forget.

disappear

Can you watch me disappear
while watching blackbirds swirl in circles against the darkened colored sky?

Can you watch me disappear
amidst the hustle and bustle of a busy city street?

Can you watch me disappear
upon the shelves of clutter within my mind?


Can you watch me disappear
into the warmth of your open arms when things aren't together?

It’s okay, let me disappear.

Secret weapon of a woman

I bat my eyelashes
And my flat is fixed

a trip, movie?
bat, bat

Hungry?
Problem solved

Need new clothes?
Presto!
Fun magic
bat, bat

I bat my eyelashes and
find a guy
alas,
What magic works on you?

forgotten face

when i close my eyes at night
I can't see your face anymore
no longer can I make out prominent features
nor a smile which could brightened a room.

when I close my eyes at night
and think of you
the dark cold eyes of Satan returns my glance
piercing through a murky cloud of waste

when I close my eyes at night
its another face I see
with caring eyes of green,
one smile, one voice
and arms reached out to hold me tight

when I close my eyes at night
memories fade as fog
as darkness disapates
when I close my eyes at night.

licorice kisses

Licorice kisses beneath the moonlight
Alive with anticipation
Is it gone? Did it exist?
I took a path a different path
Along the way quietly I fell
But I picked myself back up
And continued along
I couldn’t help but smile
As I saw you there,
To light my way.
Goodbye licorice kisses
Hello friend

just to flirt

shall i apologize
for what popped into my
mind when you entered the room?

even if it could be described as a piece of porn?
I shall not
for it was only harmless flirting.
you felt it didn't you?
the warmth on your shoulder
beneath my finger tips?
a slight dilation


batting of eyelashes
girlish giggles.
warm smiles

what could be better than flirting?
no strings,
no pain
just to giggle
and then its over
and two minds
are left to think about
what could be
and what if

just to flirt

a dream?

at night when darkness overtakes my eyes
I see your image dancing within my dreams,
you are there
I feel your hands
I smell your skin

I open my eyes
and you are gone
were you for real?

I shut my eyes
you whisper into my ear
painted words of lust
your breath hot on my neck
were you for real?

you take my hand
and lead me away
a kiss gently on a cheek
a soft brush of my hair
were you for real?

your hands command my body
I obey
your weight overtakes me
I tremble at your touch
were you for real?

woman's heart

always there was love in her heart
for those, who came and went

long after their final bow
tears she still shed

she did not ask for much,
one kiss, a hug
perhaps faithfulness

brief stolen moments of time;
never to last
for she knew to let them go
never to expect
for men need to wander

unto unforseen pleasures
a chase, the unknown
still perhaps one day
one lonely lad
will return
with laughter and love
and pick up the pieces of

one broken heart for her to see
and finally feel
passion imprinted
within her thoughts
within her heart

dreams of chaos

I fell asleep within the warmth of your breast
heart beats locked in time
with mine
while behind my eyes
a dream abounds
with chaos;

one voice
above all others
speaks to me
mistake,
wrong,
fuzzy feelings overtake the warnings
a warm touch
kind words
lost
within a maze of deceit
locked far away beneath the waves
to resurface?
I don't know
last thoughts of him
to build a self esteem
and light a spiritual path
but it is ignored once again
for poetry in rhyme
a gentle voice
awaken feelings of love;
which replaced
shadows of a former self
and twisted disillusions
the voice can only
watch it all crumble
helpless to stop, helpless to change.

patience

As a newly fallen leaf drifts at night unseen
So is my love unseen for you

Pressure, smother me
I do not care
Space I do not need

Wait I shall
For love is patient
As the proverb goes
So I will remain
Until the seasons change once again

the rotten corspe of love

Grey fills the morning sky
An unshakable deep chill
Surrounds my body;

Worms and maggots push their way through rotting flesh which line
The battered highway.

Who’s to care?
When there is no love to share;

The sweet smell of death surrounds and chokes all senses.